Thursday, 9 February 2012
The glitters fail to glitter...
9th February 2012. Like all other nights I reach my room after dinner and light walk amidst the cool wind that blow almost every night. Nothing special! The scene of my room is almost same. People on bed, ear-phones in ear and volume turned too loud to hear anything apart from the thing they want to. Gestures are the only means to communicate. Although I don’t show I’m so much a happy-for-no reason kind of guy. Most of the my time spent in my room is either devoted to music or books (no course book offcourse ). In the process I’ve managed to make a mini-library and boast of a heavy music collection. I follow the scene and scamper and grab my earphones and surf the playlist. It happens so often. The first song you choose is of your choice and in harmony with your mood at that moment. The songs that follow aren’t always so. We are least bothered to change as we are involved with other works. I too was. I was flipping the pages of “The girl with the dragon tattoo”. A novel that has made a lot of name for itself. I just received it few days back from an online website. I keep it away after reading the prologue and pick up my phone to call Maa. I always do at this point of time. People who watch me talk think it’s my girlfriend. I smile at them and refrain myself from denying it. To have a girlfriend is cool. Isn’t it? Before I could do what I intended, 9th February in bold on my cell phone catches my eye. Dates are dangerous! You forget them, you’re in danger. You remember them you are in danger too. I run towards my cupboard in a haste. When you desperately need something, you throw away everything that comes in the way. I wasn’t any exception. I threw all my clothes below. In the process I also end up providing just enough thrust for the cologne and deodorant bottle to fall off making significant noise.
Finally I find it. It was kept safely below the newspaper sheet on the rack of the cupboard. It was an envelope holding a letter. I hadn’t seen or read it in the past 1 year. Ya, it was dated 9th February 2011. I remembered that. I remembered that I had asked her to write it to me. I always have had a thing for letters. I find them too sweet for some reasons. It was posted on 9th and was expected to reach around 14th February. The hyped Valentine’s day! Prayers work in love and things happen as they are wished to go. I had received it on 14thFebruary last year. The day was special. Like a kid I had run to fetch it and jumped on my bed to read it. Hiding it from everyone I possibly could. Accompanied with blushes and with expression that was bigger than smile and smaller than laughter, I tore off the envelope. The fragrance was devastatingly adorable and so was the hand-writing. I was instructed to open the thing wrapped in polythene sheet after reading the letter. I dare not break the rule. I pick up the letter. I knew from some of my friends that girls have the habit of using too many glitters, smileys and stupid-yet-sweet decorative things like that. It was now that I realised that their habit was far more pronounced. I smile again.
Ya, I know you myt not like the name teddy too much. You have given me just enough liberty to call u by any weird name. You have spoilt me :p
It took me long to write the words that could adequately describe my feelings for u *coughs* . The best I can write is that I really love u, from deepest possible core of my heart, truly
You can’t even imagine how badly I’m blushing right now. Wish you could see me. You must be holding the letter in your hand right now na……awwww!! My letter is so lucky. Wish I could replace it. :/
You know over the months you have become the closest thing to my heart….will keep you with me 4eva. Don’t know where but between those nyt chats, our cute little(nowadays a little extended) fights. That karwa-chauth , the video chat, n teasing you, troubling you all till this point, I’ve found my dream guy in you. *I blush again*.
Even during those rough days, you drive me to love you more tenderly and to keep u warm in my arms….awww! I love you so much I can’t really explain….
Just one complain to you….
Why do you have to live so far ???
You don’t even know how badly I miss you all the time
Want to live all the sweet moments with you, like other couples do….(Rainfall being the priority)
Some much to say, don’t know how to express….
So I’ll rest for sometime, will think about you and sleep
Love you more than anyone can ever do…..
P.S. – In case this letter reaches you at night….. “ Err umm….lets make out!” what say??
Like any other guy. I was lost. I was happy. Who doesn’t like to be loved? Smile just couldn’t just go. Then I turned to the thing wrapped in polythene. Opened the wrap tenderly imagining the tender fingers that must have packed it! It was a heart shaped self made card with lots of glitters on them. When I say lot, I actually mean a lot more. So much that my black trouser was filled with colourful shining sparkles. They had the glitter of the stars. Nothing when compared to the glitter in my eyes.
Its 9th February again! The year counter has increased itself by one and things have changed a lot more than we had expected. We aren’t together anymore. The promises are broken and commitments trashed. I can’t blame her and she won’t blame me. The fact is that we just aren’t part of each other now.
I hold the card. The sparkles are there but they have dried up. They don’t glitter anymore. They are silent. I’m wearing the same trouser sitting in almost the same posture. They don’t spread on my trousers. Eyes too aren’t glittering. They are numb and moist. After failing several times to throw the letter in trash, I fold the letter and place the envelope in my cupboard and wish I never open it again.